Saturday, September 13, 2008

Angsting about Vows

So yesterday we met with Mike, the person who is marrying us, to go over wedding details. The difficulty was that I wanted traditional vows and Terri wanted more original ones. I wanted traditional as I've spend more than 20 years being excluded from marriage and I want what I've been denied all these years.

Fortunately, Mike (a former priest who is now happily married) was terrific in reassuring us and laying out what the structure usually is while stressing how much flexibility there is. We finally decided with his help that we can do both. Have a non-traditional vow that we read to each other and then roll straight into the traditional vows. Sounds great but now I had to come up with something to say. Aaaaaa.

Fortunately Terri was nice about letting me stress all the while saying that it wasn't supposed to be a super stressful thing and that I could choose anything. I was flipping through various ideas and none seemed right. Then it finally occurred to me that if it didn't sound right then I already knew what I wanted to hear and I should just write it down.

Was that every a "Duh, of course silly" moment. Got a new window on the computer and started typing and had it in just a few minutes. A few more minutes of adding and rearranging and it was done. Maybe I am a writer (or just a good plagiarist).

I see the magic of your smile
and feel power of your gaze
I am awed by the brilliance of your mind
and charmed by your humor
and I know the love I feel for you is also
shared by you to me.

In this and in every setting
I give myself to you whole heartedly
With no regret or hesitation
To be a part of each others lives in marriage.

[traditional vows then follow]


Elf said...

Gives me shivers reading it. I wish that I had spent more time understanding what I wanted to say in our wedding vows wayyyy back then. We went instead for a collection of inspirational readings, none from us specifically. Would it have made any difference 20 years later? I dunno. But I wish I had done what you're doing. Good job. I'm ready to fall in love again like that!

Ellen said...

I am deeply honored that you were moved enough to write your feelings here. You deserve to fall in love again.