Shasta Revelation: I Don't Want to Do This by Myself

It's funny what it takes for something to FINALLY get through to me.  I'm in the final planning for a Mt. Shasta trip.  I'm going to have to spend a couple of days at altitude to see if I can adjust to the elevation more to see if my blood oxygen level increases to more acceptable levels.

I've done these trips before both with and without other people.  The times I've been by myself I've been miserable at camp - missing Terri, missing my dogs.  I have a great time talking to people there at Horse Camp and higher, but when I am in camp I get lonely.  And after the trip, it's funny how quickly I forget that.  I've been planning this trip for a months  now and while this must have been in the back of my brain at the time I was completely committed to figuring out this altitude issue that I appear to have (low blood oxygen at altitude)  I get obsessed with the details and I forget but just now as I'm in the middle of putting everything together (see photo) - it hits me.  I don't want to go like this.  I want Terri with me.  Of course it's logistically too late for this trip so we're looking at next year but I'm amazed at just how blind I can be sometimes.

So Terri agree to go next year and I'm kicking myself for being SO dern slow at getting this.  Who knows I could change my mind again (not leaving for a couple of days) and I'll still go, but instead will likely ski or day climb, both of which don't answer my altitude questions.  We are going to Mt. Whitney in a couple of weeks so I'll get a chance to research it them.  But it's crazy making how conflicted I am about this.  I love climbing, but am unwilling to pay the price of time to make myself successful at it.

Good thing I'm not out of any money, but this is frustrating.